I had every intention of writing a piece to mark my first anniversary at White Dragon last summer (I started in early July). However, the process of learning, growth, and development doesn’t always fall into the time periods framed by the calendar and the clock, and personal milestones don’t always line up with the somewhat arbitrary ones of the outside world…..
During my first year at White Dragon, I was carried along on a wave of enthusiasm. There was the excitement of the school tournament, the Dragon Cup, and other special events at school. It was all new, and everything was especially fun when you tried it for the first time. In recent months, though, things have taken on a more meaningful and interesting tone. I feel like I'm finding my place, with martial arts in general, and in my school. Specifically, a number of things come to mind.
First, I am finding it easier now to learn specific forms or portions of a form. Typically, anything physical takes me a long time to learn, and I need a ton of reps to really get things down. I feel better and more confident now that I have learned and memorized more of the 24 Step form. I still have more to learn, but now I find I’m able to move more quickly into what I call the “refinement” phase of learning the forms. My process (which quite honestly has been heavily influenced by my instructor, Mr. Roper), is to learn a sequence of movements first, then go back through the sequence of steps/forms and work on the finer details, such as timing, hand position, etc. This has built a lot of confidence, and made me more motivated to practice, which in turn has made my practice more productive and enjoyable.
Sometimes I've felt like I don’t “know anything yet” because I haven’t learned the complete 24 Step form, but that really isn’t true. I now know 90% of that form, plus most of a weapon form (5 Elements Flute). In addition, I know some basic Qi Gong exercises, and about 50% of a rather complex Qi Gong form, along with some basic Choy Li Fut stances, kicks, and strikes. I’ve felt all along that I’ve been gradually learning and improving, but looking at it from a broader perspective shows me that I’m developing a varied repertoire of kung fu skills and techniques-I actually know quite a bit.
In addition to these specific abilities, I feel like I've also developed a greater respect for the art of Tai Chi itself, as well as an appreciation for the opportunity to "cross train" a bit in Choy Li Fut. While I enjoyed all of my classes and lessons, it took time to understand more of the subtleties of what I was learning. I began to understand that Tai Chi was more difficult and challenging than met the eye, and that this was true on multiple levels. As I got more experienced, I did see increases in strength and flexibility, but each new portion of the form was more challenging than the last, becoming more physically demanding. I also began to understand the concept of "gaining strength organically"-building whole groups of muscles, large and small, by performing an activity, as contrasted with working specific muscle groups in the gym. You could think of it as getting in shape to do martial arts by doing martial arts. (I’m reminded of something Brian Enos says in his book, “Practical Shooting: Beyond Fundamentals”-at some level, shooting is shooting, regardless of what you’re specifically doing/practicing. In the same way, you could say, “it’s all kung fu”)
The mental side has really started to come together, too, especially in martial applications. In Choy Li Fut, you may learn specific types of strikes and kicks, directed to certain parts of the attacker's body. You will also learn specific types of blocking techniques. In its martial applications, Tai Chi might best be described as more "conceptual," where one movement, such as Brush Knee or Fan Through Back, can be used to parry/redirect an attack, then transition into a strike or even a joint lock. This takes a long time to learn, and I definitely have a long way to go, but I've gotten much more comfortable with it over the last few months.
I’ve started thinking of it somewhat like improvising on a musical instrument, as I did when I played bass guitar in my high school jazz ensemble. You start to see the connection between the scales and basic patterns that you play when practicing, and the walking bass line or melodic/rhythmic bass line you play in a song, and you apply the basics to the song without thinking about it. A Tai Chi analogy might be a classic form like Brush Knee, which you perform in a very specific way as part of the 24 Step form, compared to flowing into and out of Brush Knee in a martial application-going from a parrying move, to a push or palm strike, or stepping into another stance to deliver a kick. Each time you experience this flow of movement, even for a brief moment, it builds confidence and, for me at least, brings other ideas/applications to mind.
I've come to realize that this martial art is easy and incredibly difficult at the same time. I've developed a greater appreciation and respect for what I'm doing and learning. My limited "cross training" in Choy Li Fut has helped, too, by gaining strength and coordination, and just getting a little insight into the difference between the styles. I appreciate the opportunity to experience this. I’ve also been able to apply my capabilities as an independent learner to my training more effectively as things have come together for me. I’m getting better at structuring my solo practice to build on and refine what I learn in group classes and my lessons.
At the same time, I'm really feeling like I have really "found my place" at my school.* Sometimes (for me, at least) when you get into a new group of people with a shared interest, it’s natural that you can be swept up by enthusiasm and a desire to bond. So, as your classmates share ideas, training techniques, and even just opinions and beliefs about martial arts and related subjects, you can tend to take these things strictly at face value, or reflexively emulate them. I think this is especially true if there are people in the group whom you particularly admire and respect for their skill, work ethic, etc. I think of it as a "positive peer pressure" environment-what strength coach Mark Rippetoe refers to as “the reinforcement of behavior through group participation and group approval.”
Still, you ultimately need to evaluate all of this information and decide what really works for you as an individual, working through the process of examining and evaluating all of the ideas, interests, and theories for yourself. I find that if I ignore this evaluation process, eventually I begin to feel uneasy or irritated, like something isn’t “right.” This has been my experience over the last few months-watching, learning, thinking, and evaluating.
I remember an art instructor I had in college who would present a concept or technique, then ask the class, “how are you going to make this your own?” For me, "making it my own" has been part of the process in my martial arts training over the last few months-both the specific techniques and concepts I’ve learned in class, and some of what I’ve seen, heard, and discussed in and around school. I’ve considered and evaluated much of this, and have begun to decide what really works for me. I’ve also re-learned that even if it’s not something I want to do, or something I feel is a good fit for me, I can still learn from it. (Funny how those little life lessons keep coming back when you need them; you just need to pay attention :-)) For example, I’m not interested in an ultra-strict diet or running a marathon, but there is something I can learn from the people who are doing those things, which can benefit my own dietary habits and physical training.
Ultimately I hope that my classmates might discover there is something they can learn from me, as well. I know I’m not the most “social” individual at school, but I am approachable, and if there is something I can share which helps someone, I want to contribute and be part of the school community.
Finally, I’ve been able to branch out a little through the tournaments and seminars, where I met some people from our other White Dragon schools. These experiences reminded me that I am part of a larger martial arts community, beyond even my martial arts family at White Dragon of East County. I’ve kept in contact with some of the people I met at these events, and have come to think of them as my “kung fu cousins.” Meeting students outside my school and feeling accepted by them as a fellow martial artist has increased my confidence in my skills, and my enjoyment of the overall training experience.
So, while my “anniversary” at school, and the experiences and knowledge gained during my first year there don’t comprise a neatly wrapped package which fits perfectly in a calendar time frame, my first year of martial arts was significant to me (and always will be). But perhaps the biggest lesson here is that the learning is like the strength I’m gaining through my practice-organic, developing at its own pace, sometimes with surprising results, and it won’t stop unless you do.
*I'm not saying that I ever felt "lost" at the school, it's more that I've come to feel comfortable there on a deeper level over the last few months.
